Choices

In America everyone has the right of free choice. I am disheartened, at times, at some of the choices I make and that others I know make. I have made great efforts at changing those poor choice processes because I got tired of getting the same things I always got with those bad choices. Now, I am watching a childhood friend of mine repeating, over and over, poor choice making. I am moved to think that it has to come from a poor self image and what we think in our own minds that we deserve. It would seemingly be easy to see that the same results are coming from the same choices but, I guess, not everyone is capable or lucky enough to come to terms with their self to see that what they are doing is only hurting theirself. I feel rather lucky to be able to change the things I have because I am old enough now that I don't need all the crap in my life. You know, like the abuse, the lack of attention, being around non-productive people and do I really need to go on and on and on with negativity that is surrounded by those people? I think most people would know that is what it is. This brings me now to a big decision because I really do love my friend but her decisions to be around certain types of people tends to create the same negativity in her. It makes me not want anything to do with even her. It does suck because I would help her in a New York minute but it is always with this or that loser boyfriend and I won't have anything to do with those people anymore. I am talking about some of the laziest, non-productive, abusive people that I have had the pleasure to meet in a long time. I have no use for them. I have no desire to help them or assist them in any way. To me, they can go and do whatever it is they do but not around me, so I am left with getting a person out of my life I care deeply about. Dilemma!

Ok. I am over the dilemma.

Self Responsibility

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Self Responsibility

You know, we all make choices in life and with those choices come responsibility. And, just because we make a decision about this or that does not mean we can expect everyone around us to participate in those choices. So, it would be my belief that it is imperative to be fully aware of the decisions and the consequences of those decisions, realizing that it is our own and not the responsibility of others to rectify or accommodate those things we opted for. And, when others don't follow what we WANT doesn't make them the bad guy. It only means those choices should be owned by the one who made them. It also doesn't mean they are no longer our friend. It does mean that when making a decision it is imperative to know as best we can the long term ramifications of that decision. We must also know that others have to make their own choices and that we won't always be on board to suffer their poor choices, either. So, when confronted on either account of two sides of the coin, don't allow guilt make you do what you don't want to do. And, we must always remember that our choices are our own responsibilty.

Judge Not

Sometimes in life there are things that are demanded from you as a person. It may take many forms such as family issues, relationship issues, kids can be the demanding factor, the lack of money, time, focus, patience,...I mean anything can become a demand and it doesn't matter if someone else sees it's importance. The main thing is that the person who is dealing with the demand(s) thinks and feels that it is important. When on the outside looking in, it is usually easy to have a solution. But, when the problem is our own, the solution doesn't seem so obvious and even though we may have advised someone on the same issue doesn't mean we can actually apply that same advice to our own life. So, when looking at someone else's problem, it may do us well to be patient, kind, and understanding. Having the compassion for the person no matter how small we may think their issue is. Validate the importance of their problem and then try to be helpful with a suitable solution that can work for that person. The main thing, I think, is showing the person you care and understand, and letting them know their issues are important. Giving in this manner will surely make the spirit soar!

Home Grown Advice: Self

Home Grown Advice: Self: Sometimes when in the throes of some kind of drama, be it relational, financial, work, family, kids, emotional,...we forget the one most imp...